A home is blessed when it is filled with the chatter and laughter of kids. After becoming a parent, the meaning of life changed. It was no longer about me. My world began to revolve around my kids. They took centre stage and nothing was the same again.
As your child grows, you grow too. It is a never ending learning process, in stages. And as a parent you make sure you teach them everything you believe is right to make them good humans.
The first stage begins when your babies take their first step or say their first word and nothing else in the world matters to you but these little moments. You are their first teacher. You hold their hand and teach them to walk. You are ready to pick them up as soon as they fall. You want to be the shield between them and all danger. Loving them above and beyond everything else.
Children learn by watching you. Always teach them to respect and appreciate the presence of everyone around them.
You know that one day your child has to leave your side and go to school. You mentally prepare yourself for it. But when the moment actually arrives, it’s the hardest thing you have had to do. It breaks your heart to let them out of your sight even for a little while. And so begins the second stage.
Through days, months and years of achievements, disappointments, success and failures your child grows, nurtured with your love. Kissing away the bruises and tears, comforting, protecting and guiding them through this sometimes confusing journey.
Always teaching them to be the better person, letting them know when they are wrong. Being a strict parent does not make you a bad parent. On the contrary being strict with your child when required instils the right values.
Your home may be chaos but in the midst of all the mess, love and laughter dwells.
We capture every moment filling albums with photographs, creating memories. Because you know one day your little bird is going to fly the nest.
In no time your baby is a young adult, ready to make decisions for their future. We are now in Stage three. They are ready to spread their wings and soar. Higher studies or job opportunities take them to different cities or countries. Once again you urge them on, guiding and advising them on the ways of the world. You help them get through any insecurities or hesitations and all the while it is getting harder for you to accept the fact that one of these days they will be gone.
And suddenly it seems as if someone has reached into your chest and ripped your heart right out.
There isn’t really any time to dwell on those feelings while trying to share their excitement of all the planning, preparation and packing.
Up to this moment in time this was your world. But everything is going to change, you find yourself saying good bye.
From personal experience, the ache in your heart is so bad that you want to curl up and just stay numb forever. Nothing is the same. The silence is eerie, everything around you reminds you of happier times when your children still lived at home.
We look forward to those calls and messages everyday. Wait for when we can visit them or they come home. Christmases were always very special to me. But after my kids left home to pursue their goals Christmas has become even more special because it is the time of the year when we are all together.
Inspite of all this pain, we need to realise it is not the end of the world for us. There is no need to wallow in sadness and self pity.
It’s time to find new things to do. Time to spend all of our energies on new hobbies and interests. Reconnect with yourself and use all the time you have to do everything you always wanted to do.
I started driving, something I had not attempted because my son always drove me around. I always had a driving licence, just never used it. Once I got over the initial nervousness of being behind the wheel I started going on long drives. Just get in the car and drive. I would plan an odd weekend afternoon in the mall, just watching the world go by.
Take baby steps, one small step at a time and it gets better.